Issue date: 9/2/08 Section: Editorial

Lorenzo Sanders III

I received a phone call early one Saturday morning from a friend who had just returned home from an interview. A recent college grad, Jack (of course I changed his name), was excited about the prospect of managing a 50 person staff and proving to all his "haters" that he would be a success.
"Man, I got there and she wouldn't even interview me!" he exclaimed.
"You had an appointment but they refused to admit you?" I quizzed. "Yeah! I was only ten minutes late and the prejudiced white lady refused to let me in to see Mr. Jones!" Knowing my friend for 10 years, I began to help him dissect the situation.
"What time was your appointment?" I asked.
"Eleven," he responded.
"What time did you wake up this morning?" I continued.
"I didn't get up until 10, but then I had to cook myself something to eat, then I had to iron and shower," he offered.
"Could you have gotten up earlier?" I asked.
"Yes, but I went out last night with some friends to celebrate everything."
Sometimes we have to remind people of where they went wrong, sometimes gently and sometimes matter-of-factly. I have had to do this with myself on too many occasions to count.
"So you went out drinking, got in late, didn't prepare your clothes in advance, knowing you live 45 minutes from Company X?"
"Oh, so I was supposed to tell my friends I couldn't go out with them because I have to get up early?"
I ignored his lack of reason and continued showing him how he was ultimately responsible for his outcomes. "You know, some things you just can't control and others you can. The key is to know what you can control and then learn to act upon that. No, you actually don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You didn't have to stay home and prepare for your interview, you didn't have to compromise and agree to another date with your friends, you didn't have to call the secretary and tell her you were running behind schedule and ask for a later appointment. Instead, you chose….."
"Naw but…." He interrupted.
"Instead…" I countered, "You chose not to prepare in advance, you chose to go out drinking, you chose not to allow yourself ample travel time, you chose not to call your interviewer or appointment setter, and therefore you chose your outcome in each one of those choices you made."
I could tell that he was angry so I just sat on the phone listening to the sound of children playing outside of his window.

Continued...

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